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Cockney Rhyming Slang for Parts of the Body

The human body generates a lot of slang. Maybe it's because bits of it are always playing us up. Anyway, here's a quick run-down from top to bottom. See if you can work out what all these slang mean:

On yer Loaf of Bread you've got your Barnet Fair (or maybe a Syrup of Figs). On yer Boat Race you have yer Mince Pies, King Lears and I Suppose. In yer North and South you've got yer Hampstead Heath. Yer Loaf sits on yer Gregory Peck, which sits on yer Noddy Holders. If you're a woman you might have Bristol Cities (or Thrupenny Bits) on yer Bristol and West.

We've all got a pair of Chalk Farms poking out with a pair of German Bands at the end. In yer Derby Kelly lives yer Newington Butts. Don't eat too much in case yer Fish and Chips start expanding.

In the Screaming Lord Sutch area, the menfolk have a Hampton Wick, which is what he uses to have a Jimmy Riddle or a Gypsy's Kiss, under which his Orchestra Stalls (or Cobblers' Awls or Niagara Falls or Albert Halls) live. The ladies are blessed with a Morris Minor (or a Struggle and Grunt) instead. Male or female, we've all got a Bottle and Glass (also known as an Aris) at the back with which we can have a Tom Tit.

Yer Plates of Meat are at the end of yer Scotch Eggs, and yer Bromley by Bows at the end yer Scotches. And that just about sums up the Cockney parts of the Body!

Here's our list of terms from the dictionary that are money-related. If you've got any more, sling 'em over!

Nose Irish Rose

Pain Michael Caine

Pee Jet Li

Piddle (urinate)
"I'm going for a Malcolm, mate..."
Malcolm in the Middle

Piddle (urinate) Jimmy Riddle

Piddle (urinate) Jimmy Riddle

"I've got the Jeremy Kyles."
Jeremy Kyles

Piles Nobby Stiles
One of the very many slang terms for haemorrhoids.

"Ooh me Plymouth Argylls are griping today!"
Plymouth Argylls

Piles Farmer Giles
One of the most popular of the many many slang terms for the medical condition of haemorrhoids.

Piles Shetland Isles

Piles (haemorrhoids)
"Ooh, me Chalfonts are givin' me gyp!"
Chalfonts St. Giles

Piles (haemorrhoids)
"That vindaloo is playing hell with my Mammies."
Mammy's Smiles

Piles (haemorroids)
"My Plymouths are killing me!"
Plymouth Argyles

"I need a Hit and Miss."
Hit and Miss

"Just going for a gypsy's - back in a mo."
Gypsy's Kiss

"That kid down the pub was a right Moby"
Moby Dick

Prick (penis) Hampton Wick
Hampton Wick is a pleasant village in South West London, near Kingston upon Thames and Hampton Court ... read more

Pube Rubik's Cube
The Rubik's Cube was a mathematical toy invented in 1974 by Hungarian sculptor and architect Erno Ru ... read more

Shave Dig in the grave

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