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Cockney Rhyming Slang Letter J

J. Arthur Rank	Bank
Gawn down the J.Arthur to get a Monkey.

Jabba the Hutt	Shut

Jack and Jill Alternatives	Hill

Jack and Jill Alternatives	Bill (statement)

Jack and Jill Alternatives	Pill
Me girlfriend's on the Jack and Jill at last

Jack and Jill Alternatives	Till (cash register)

Jack Dash Alternatives	To urinate (slash)
I need a Jack Dash.

Jack Dash Alternatives	Urinate
Just off for a Jack

Jack Dee	Cup o' Tea
Jack Dee - 1 sugar, cheers, mate!

Jack Joner	Loner
Look at that Jack Joner.

Jack Jones Alternatives	Alone
I've bin sat 'ere all on me Jack Jones

Jack Jones Alternatives	Alone
I've been on me Jack Jones all day.

Jack McGraw	Draw (cannabis)
Do you know were I can get some Jack McGraw?

Jack Palance	Dance

Jack Straw	Draw (cannabis)

Jack Tar	Bar (pub)

Jack the Dandy	Brandy

Jack the Ripper Alternatives	Kipper

Jack the Ripper Alternatives	Stripper

Jack The Rippers	Slippers
Oi, mutt - go and fetch my Jack the Rippers.

Jackanory	Story

Jackdaw	Jaw

Jackie Chan Alternatives	Plan
I've a Jackie

Jackie Chan Alternatives	Can (of beer)
You want to come around to my gaf for a few Jackies tonight?

Jackie Flint	Skint
Would join you, but I'm Jackie Flint

Jacks	Jackson Five (five pounds)
Lend us a jacks

Jack's Alive Alternatives	5

Jack's Alive Alternatives	Five

Jacobs Crackers	Knackers (testicles)
If you stop me again I'll cut your Jacobs off (from the film "Snatch)

Jacob's Crackers	Knackers (testicles)

Jaffa Cake	Mistake
"That was a bit of a Jaffa..."

Jah Rule	School
I'm quittin Jah cos it's a James Hunt

Jakki Brambles	Shambles

Jam Jar	Car

Jam Roll Alternatives	Pole (as in Polish citizen). Used (allegedly) during WW2.
He's a Jam Role!

Jam Roll Alternatives	Dole (welfare)
I'm on the jam roll

jam roll Alternatives	Dole
He's on the Jam Roll

Jam Tart Alternatives	Fart
Cor that Jam stinks.

Jam Tart Alternatives	Heart

James Brown	Frown
You gotta turn that James Brown upside down!

James Dean	Keen
You're a bit James Dean in't ya?

Jane Fonda	Wander
Off for a Jane Fonda on the dancefloor

Jay Kay	Take Away
Fancy a jay-kay after this?

Jay-Z	Cup of tea
Make me a Jay-Z

Jazz Bands	Hands
My Jazz Bands are cold

Jean Michell	Jar (drink)
Fancy a few Jean Michells later

Jean-Claude van Damme	Spam
Argh, I can't check me emails for all this Jean-Claude van Damme!

Jeff Beck	Neck

Jeffrey Dahmer	Charmer
He's quite a Jeffrey, your boyfriend

Jekyll and Hyde	Snide (fake)
Bought a Jekyll watch down the market

Jekyll and Hydes	Strides (trousers)

Jellied Eel Alternatives	Deal
I'll give ya a great jelly on it

Jellied Eel Alternatives	Feel

Jellied Eel Alternatives	Squeal
Darren you fookin' Jelly

Jelly Bone	Phone
Aw me Jelly's vibrating

Jelly Roll Blues	News

Jelly Tot	Spot
Thats a wicked jelly tot on your boat

Jenny Lee	Flea

Jenny Powell	Towel

Jenson Button Alternatives	Mutton
She's Jenson Button dressed as lamb I reckon

Jeremiah	Fire

Jeremy Beadle	Needle
He's got the right Jeremy.

Jeremy Kyles	Piles
I've got the Jeremy Kyles.

Jerry Cottle	Bottle

Jerry O'Gorman	Mormon

Jet Fighter	All nighter
We're going on a Jet Fighter

Jet Li	Pee

Jethro (Tull)	Skull
I bust an Aristostle over his Jethro

Jim Bob Babs	Crabs
Bleeding Nora, I just caught a case of Jim Bobs!

Jim Fenner	Tenner
Where's that Jim you owe me?

Jim Skinner	Dinner

Jimi Hendrix	Appendix
I just 'ad mi Jimi Hendrix taken out.

Jiminee Cricket	Ticket
I've just bought a pair of Jiminees.

Jimmy Cliff	Smell (whiff)
Cor, it don't half Jimmy round here.

Jimmy Connors	Honours
Do the Jimmy Connors, mate

Jimmy Giraffe	Laugh
Your 'avin a Jimmy

Jimmy Greaves	Thieves

Jimmy Hill Alternatives	Pill

Jimmy Hill Alternatives	Bill (statement)

Jimmy Nail Alternatives	Hell

Jimmy Nail Alternatives	Email

Jimmy Nail Alternatives	Jail

Jimmy O'Goblin	Sovereign

Jimmy Riddle Alternatives	Piddle (urinate)

Jimmy Riddle Alternatives	Piddle (urinate)

Joanna	Piano
Get on the old Joanna, and let's have a good old ding dong!

Jockey's Whip	Kip

Jockey's Whips	Chips

Jockies' Whips	Chips
Let's get a bag of jockies

Jodie Marsh	Harsh
Thats a bit jodie marsh mate!

Joe Baxi	Taxi

Joe Blake Alternatives	Steak

Joe Blake Alternatives	Snake

Joe Blake Alternatives	Cake
Want some Joe Blake mate?

Joe Brown	Town

Joe Hart	Fart

Joe Hook	Book

Joe Hoppers	Coppers (police)
The Joe Hoppers did a dawn raid.

Joe Rook	Crook

Joey Ramone	Phone

Johhny Cash	Hash -(Cannabis)
Dont Humphrey the Johhny you muddy boy

Johhny Vaughan	Porn

John Cleese	Cheese

John Deut	Beaut (beauty)
Wot a John Duet

John Dillon	Shilling
Lend us a John Dillon

John Hop	Cop (policeman)

John Major Alternatives	Wager

John Major Alternatives	Pager

John Major Alternatives	Wager
Care to put a little john major on that?

John McCane	Insane
That bloke's gone John McCane

John Skinner	Dinner

John Wayne	Train

John West	Very best
I only give the John West mate.

Johnny Cash Alternatives	Slash (urinate)
I'm busting for a Johnny Cash

Johnny Cash Alternatives	Slash (urinate)

Johnny Horner	Corner

Jonathan King	Ring
I'm a bit sore today, I feel like I've been battered around the Jonathan King.

Jonathan Ross	Toss
Couldn't give a Jonathon Ross mate

Jonathan Ross'd	Lost
I'm totally Jonathan Ross'd here

Jude Law	Score
What's the Jude Law ?

Judith Chalmers	Piles (hemorrhoids)
Blimey, I've got a nasty case of the Judiths

Judy Dench Alternatives	Bench
Emile Hesky should stay on the Judy

Judy Dench Alternatives	Stench
Don't go in that toilet there's a right Judy in there

Judy Dench Alternatives	Wrench
Oi, hand me that Judy.

Julius Caesar	Geezer

Jumbo Jet	Bet

Jumpin' Jack Flash	Cash
I've got plenty of Jumpin' Jack Flash in me Sky Rocket.

Jumping Jack	Back

Jungle Jim	Tim (Person of a Roman Catholic Persuasion)
He's a dirty jungle jim

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