|
Insane |
Saddam Hussein
|
| You must be Saddam Hussein |
|
|
Charlie (Cocaine) |
Saladore Dali
|
|
|
Rocks |
Salford Docks
|
|
|
Snout (cigarette) |
Salmon and Trout
Alternatives
|
|
|
Snout (cigarette) |
Salmon and Trout
Alternatives
|
| I'm having a salmon |
|
|
Stout (beer) |
Salmon and Trout
Alternatives
|
|
|
Gout |
Salmon and Trout
Alternatives
|
| How's your salmon |
|
|
Charlie (cocaine) |
Salvador Dali
|
|
|
Barmy |
Salvation Army
|
| Gawd you gotta be Salvation Army. |
|
|
Number |
Samantha Mumba
|
|
|
Civilian |
Sampa Brazilian
|
| Hey. No sweat, I`m only a Sampa, mate. |
|
|
Pruno (prison liquor) |
San Bruno
|
| That bloke is brewing San Bruno in his cell! |
|
|
Boy |
San Toy
|
|
|
Style |
Sandy Lyle
Alternatives
|
| I like your Sandy Lyle |
|
|
Smile |
Sandy Lyle
Alternatives
|
| Put a Sandy on your Boat |
|
|
Crabs |
Sandy McNabs
|
| I've got the old Sandy McNabs |
|
|
Blotto (drunk) |
Santa's Grotto
|
|
|
Socks |
Sara cox
|
| Ere fella, you seen me Sara's? |
|
|
Quid |
Saucepan Lid
Alternatives
|
|
|
Kid |
Saucepan Lid
Alternatives
|
|
|
Crash |
Sausage and Mash
Alternatives
|
|
|
Cash |
Sausage and Mash
Alternatives
|
|
|
Slash (urinate) |
Sausage and Mash
Alternatives
|
| Just going for sausage and mash |
|
|
Dole (welfare) |
Sausage Roll
Alternatives
|
|
|
Goal |
Sausage Roll
Alternatives
|
|
|
Go |
Scapa Flow
|
| We better scapa! |
|
|
Wrist |
Schindlers List
Alternatives
|
| I've twisted me Schindlers |
|
|
Clue |
Scooby Doo
Alternatives
|
| You haven't got a Scooby Doo |
|
|
Clue |
Scooby Doo
Alternatives
|
| 'aven't got the foggiest Scooby Doo matey |
|
|
20 |
Score
|
|
|
|
|
Legs |
Scotch Eggs
|
|
|
Egg |
Scotch Peg
|
|
|
Legs |
Scotch Pegs
|
|
|
Spliff |
Scratch ' N ' Sniff
|
|
|
Bed |
Scratch Yer Head
|
|
|
Cider |
Sean Ryder
|
| I'll 'ave a pint of Sean Ryder |
|
|
Toes (from Seb Coes) |
Sebs
|
| Have it on your Sebs |
|
|
Spot |
Selina Scott
|
| That's a nasty Selina you've got there |
|
|
Steak |
Sexton Blake
Alternatives
|
|
|
Cake |
Sexton Blake
Alternatives
|
|
|
Fake |
Sexton Blake
Alternatives
|
|
|
Thanks |
Shabba Ranks
|
| shabba ranks for your help claire! |
|
|
River |
Shake and Shiver
|
|
|
Bird |
Shaken Not Stirred
|
| Have a butchers at that shaken not stirred |
|
|
Evens |
Shakin Stevens
|
| What price was that horse? |
|
|
Phone |
Sharone Stone
|
| No worries china give us buzz on the Sharon. |
|
|
Pension |
Shawshank Redemption
|
|
|
Excited |
Sheffield United
|
| Calm down, don't get too Sheffield! |
|
|
Bad |
Shepherd's Plaid
|
|
|
Cab (taxi) |
Sherbet Dab
|
|
|
Kip |
Sherbet Dip
|
| I need some Sherbet Dip. |
|
|
Pint of Ale |
Ship Full Sail
|
| Let's have a Ship. |
|
|
Nick (prison) |
Shovel and Pick
|
|
|
Blade |
Shovel and Spade
|
| Got a spare Shovel? Gotta 'ave a Dig. |
|
|
Beaver |
Sigourney Weaver
|
|
|
Towel |
Simon Cowell
|
| I'm going down to the beach, lay on me old Simon and catch me some rays. |
|
|
Pyjamas |
Simon Schamas
|
| Me grandad's only gone down the quack's in his Simons |
|
|
Tailor |
Sinbad the Sailor
|
|
|
Apple |
Sistine Chapel
|
| That Sistine looks Obie Trice. |
|
|
State |
Six and Eight
|
|
|
|
|
Bed |
Skein of Thread
|
|
|
Sister |
Skin and Blister
|
|
|
Fiver (five pounds) |
Sky Diver
|
|
|
Pocket |
Sky Rocket
|
|
|
Bible |
Slander and Libel
|
| Slander and Libel, I don't Adam and Eve it! |
|
|
Van |
Slice Pan
|
|
|
Dope |
Slippery Slope
|
| I'm gonna get on the Slippery Slope.... |
|
|
Mess |
Slits in A Dress
|
|
|
Malteasers |
Small Geezers
|
| Go down the frog and toad & get me a packet of small geezers. |
|
|
Cab |
Smash and Grab
Alternatives
|
| I'm off down the pub, I'll get a smash home |
|
|
Cab |
Smash and grab
Alternatives
|
| Come out the station and waited for a smash |
|
|
Queen |
Smoke Screen
|
|
|
Flush |
Snow and Slush
|
|
|
Sister |
Sock and Blister
|
|
|
Ramble |
Sol Campbell
Alternatives
|
| Just going for a bit of a Sol Campbell |
|
|
Gamble |
Sol campbell
Alternatives
|
| Coming for a Sol Campbell |
|
|
Slaughtered |
Son and Daughter'd
|
|
|
Sleep |
Sooty And Sweep
|
| I could do with some Soot. |
|
|
Bad |
Sorry and Sad
|
|
|
Navy |
Soup and Gravy
|
|
|
Pound (currency) |
Sov
|
|
|
Copper |
Space Hopper
|
| There goes a Space Hopper. |
|
|
Elbow |
Spanish Archer
|
|
|
See ya' later |
Spanish Waiter
|
| Spanish Waiter darlin! |
|
|
Drugs |
Spark Plugs
|
|
|
Ten (£10) |
Speckled Hen
|
| Lend us a Speckled son. |
|
|
Thugs |
Spiders and Bugs
|
|
|
Internet |
Sportsman's Bet
|
| He spends a lot of time on the Sportsman's . |
|
|
Bog (toilet) |
Spotty Dog
|
| I just need to pop into the Spotty. |
|
|
Tanner (sixpence) |
Sprarsy Anna
|
|
|
|
|
Cold (derived from Potatoes in the Mould) |
Spuds
|
| It's spuds tonight! |
|
|
Quid (£1) |
Squid
|
| Have you got a Squid. |
|
|
Fridge |
Stamford Bridge
|
| Get us a beer out the Stamford. |
|
|
Cheese |
Stand At Ease
|
|
|
Tomatoes |
Stars & Garters
|
| Sling some Stars on that breakfast, mate. |
|
|
Tap (borrow) |
Star's Nap
|
|
|
Clutch |
Starsky and Hutch
|
|
|
Fly |
Steak and Kidney Pie
|
|
|
Mug (fool) |
Steam Tug
|
|
|
Tan |
Steely Dan
|
|
|
Laugh |
Steffi Graf
|
| He's 'aving a Steffi Graf, right? |
|
|
Garage |
Steve Claridge
|
|
|
Jeans |
Steve McQueen's
|
|
|
Cold |
Stevey Bould
|
|
|
Flicks |
Stevie Nicks
|
| What's on a the Stevie this week? |
|
|
Chunder (Be sick) |
Stevie Wonder
|
| I can feel a Stevie coming on. |
|
|
Danger |
Stewart Granger
|
| Any Stewart of getting served? |
|
|
Tune |
Stewed Prune
|
|
|
Jew |
Stick of Glue
|
|
|
Coffee |
Sticky Toffee
|
|
|
Kettle |
Stinging Nettle
|
| Put the stinger on |
|
|
Toss |
Stirling Moss
|
| I don't give a stirling mate |
|
|
Slash; to urinate |
Stock Market Crash
|
| Excuse me while I nip off for a quick Stock Market |
|
|
Bent (criminal) |
Stoke On Trent
Alternatives
|
|
|
Beef |
Stop Thief
|
|
|
Beard |
Strange and Weird
|
|
|
Phone |
Strawberry Rhone
|
|
|
Git (twit) |
Strawberry Split
|
|
|
Heart |
Strawberry Tart
|
| My strawberry only beats for you, treacle |
|
|
Lighter |
Street Fighter
Alternatives
|
| Who's got a street fighter? |
|
|
|
|
Lighter |
Street Fighter
Alternatives
|
| Pass me the Street Fighter will you? |
|
|
Leeds |
String o' Beads
|
| Gonna watch String o' beads tonight |
|
|
Poorly |
Sue Lawley
|
| I'm feeling a bit Sue Lawley |
|
|
Post |
Sunday Roast
|
|
|
Cancer |
Sunny Dancer
|
| Wot's wrong with him? 'Es got sunny dancer innee? |
|
|
Gin and tonic |
Supersonic
Alternatives
|
|
|
Tonic |
Supersonic
Alternatives
|
|
|
Pox |
Surrey Docks
|
|
|
Pox |
Surries (Surrey Docks)
|
| Stay away she's got the Surries |
|
|
Liver |
Swanee River
|
|
|
Jock (a Scottish person) |
Sweaty Sock
Alternatives
|
|
|
Jock (a Scottish person) |
Sweaty Sock
Alternatives
|
|
|
Flying Squad |
Sweeney Todd
|
|
|
Pole (Polish person) |
Swiss Roll
|
|
|
Wig |
Syrup of Figs
|
| That's a definite syrup if ever I saw one! |
|