Jacobs Crackers!

Cockney to English letter J

If you see a hyperlink, click to get alternative slang or alternative translations.

Bank	J. Arthur Rank
Gawn down the J.Arthur to get a Monkey.

Viewing	J.R Ewing
I've got a J.R Ewing on the house later

Shut	Jabba the Hutt

Hill	Jack and Jill Alternatives

Bill (statement)	Jack and Jill Alternatives

Pill	Jack and Jill Alternatives
Me girlfriend's on the Jack and Jill at last

Till (cash register)	Jack and Jill Alternatives

To urinate (slash)	Jack Dash Alternatives
I need a Jack Dash.

Urinate	Jack Dash Alternatives
Just off for a Jack

Cup o' Tea	Jack Dee
Jack Dee - 1 sugar, cheers, mate!

Loner	Jack Joner
Look at that Jack Joner.

Alone	Jack Jones Alternatives
I've bin sat 'ere all on me Jack Jones

Own (alone)	Jack Jones Alternatives

Draw (cannabis)	Jack McGraw
Do you were I can get some Jack McGraw

Dance	Jack Palance

Draw (cannabis)	Jack Straw

Bar (pub)	Jack Tar

Brandy	Jack the Dandy

Kipper	Jack the Ripper Alternatives

Stripper	Jack the Ripper Alternatives

Slippers	Jack The Rippers
Oi! Mutt fetch my Jack the Rippers.

Story	Jackanory

Jaw	Jackdaw

Plan	Jackie Chan Alternatives
I've a Jackie

Can (of beer)	Jackie Chan Alternatives
You want to come around to my gaf for a few Jackies tonight?

Skint	Jackie Flint
Would join you, but I'm Jackie Flint

Jackson Five (five pounds)	Jacks
Lend us a jacks

5	Jack's Alive Alternatives

Five	Jack's Alive Alternatives

Knackers (testicles)	Jacobs Crackers
If you stop me again I'll cut your Jacobs off (from the film "Snatch)


Knackers (testicles)	Jacob's Crackers

Mistake	Jaffa Cake
"That was a bit of a Jaffa..."

School	Jah Rule
I'm quittin Jah cos it's a James Hunt

Shambles	Jakki Brambles

Car	Jam Jar

Pole (as in Polish citizen). Used (allegedly) during WW2.	Jam Roll Alternatives
He's a Jam Role!

Dole (welfare)	Jam Roll Alternatives
I'm on the jam roll

Dole	jam roll Alternatives
He's on the Jam Roll

Fart	Jam Tart Alternatives
Cor that Jam stinks.

Heart	Jam Tart Alternatives

Frown	James Brown
You gotta turn that James Brown upside down!

Keen	James Dean
You're a bit James Dean in't ya?

Wander	Jane Fonda
Off for a Jane Fonda on the dancefloor

Take Away	Jay Kay
Fancy a jay-kay after this?

Cup of tea	Jay-Z
Make me a Jay-Z

Jar (drink)	Jean Michell
Fancy a few Jean Michells later

Neck	Jeff Beck

Charmer	Jeffrey Dahmer
He's quite a Jeffrey, your boyfriend

Snide (fake)	Jekyll and Hyde
Bought a Jekyll watch down the market

Strides (trousers)	Jekyll and Hydes

Deal	Jellied Eel Alternatives
I'll give ya a great jelly on it

Feel	Jellied Eel Alternatives

Squeal	Jellied Eel Alternatives
Darren you fookin' Jelly

Phone	Jelly Bone
Aw me Jelly's vibrating

News	Jelly Roll Blues

Spot	Jelly Tot
Thats a wicked jelly tot on your boat

Flea	Jenny Lee

Towel	Jenny Powell

Fire	Jeremiah

Needle	Jeremy Beadle
He's got the right Jeremy.


Bottle	Jerry Cottle

Mormon	Jerry O'Gorman

All nighter	Jet Fighter
We're going on a Jet Fighter

Skull	Jethro (Tull)
I bust an Aristostle over his Jethro

Crabs	Jim Bob Babs
Bleeding Nora, I just caught a case of Jim Bobs!

Tenner	Jim Fenner
Where's that Jim you owe me?

Dinner	Jim Skinner

Appendix	Jimi Hendrix
I just 'ad mi Jimmi Hendrix taken out

Ticket	Jiminee Cricket
I've just bought a pair of Jiminees.

Smell (whiff)	Jimmy Cliff
Cor, it don't half Jimmy round here.

Honours	Jimmy Connors
Do the Jimmy Connors, mate

Laugh	Jimmy Giraffe
Your 'avin a Jimmy

Thieves	Jimmy Greaves

Pill	Jimmy Hill Alternatives

Bill (statement)	Jimmy Hill Alternatives

Hell	Jimmy Nail Alternatives

Email	Jimmy Nail Alternatives

Jail	Jimmy Nail Alternatives

Sovereign	Jimmy O'Goblin

Piddle (urinate)	Jimmy Riddle Alternatives

Piddle (urinate)	Jimmy Riddle Alternatives

Pianner (piano)	Joanna

Kip	Jockey's Whip

Chips	Jockey's Whips

Chips	Jockies' Whips
Let's get a bag of jockies

Harsh	Jodie Marsh
Thats a bit jodie marsh mate!

Taxi	Joe Baxi

Steak	Joe Blake Alternatives

Snake	Joe Blake Alternatives

Cake	Joe Blake Alternatives
Want some Joe Blake mate?


Book	Joe Hook

Coppers (police)	Joe Hoppers
The Joe Hoppers did a dawn raid.

Crook	Joe Rook

Phone	Joey Ramone

Slash (urinate)	Johhny Cash Alternatives
I'm busting for a Johnny Cash

Hash -(Cannabis)	Johhny Cash Alternatives
Dont Humphrey the Johhny you muddy boy

Porn	Johhny Vaughan

Cheese	John Cleese

Beaut (beauty)	John Deut
Wot a John Duet

Cop (policeman)	John Hop

Wager	John Major Alternatives

Pager	John Major Alternatives

Wager	John Major Alternatives
Care to put a little john major on that?

Insane	John McCane
That bloke's gone John McCane

Dinner	John Skinner

Train	John Wayne

Very best	John West
I only give the John West mate.

Slash (urinate)	Johnny Cash

Corner	Johnny Horner

Ring	Jonathan King
I'm a bit sore today, I feel like I've been battered around the Jonathan King.

Toss	Jonathan Ross
Couldn't give a Jonathon Ross mate

Lost	Jonathan Ross'd
I'm totally Jonathan Ross'd here

Score	Jude Law
What's the Jude Law ?

Bench	Judy Dench Alternatives
Emile Hesky should stay on the Judy

Stench	Judy Dench Alternatives
Don't go in that toilet there's a right Judy in there

Wrench	Judy Dench Alternatives
Oi, hand me that Judy.

Fairy	Julian Clairy

Geezer	Julius Caesar

Bet	Jumbo Jet

Cash	Jumpin' Jack Flash
I've got plenty of Jumpin' Jack Flash in me Sky Rocket.


Back	Jumping Jack

Tim (Person of a Roman Catholic Persuasion)	Jungle Jim
He's a dirty jungle jim