|
Tram |
Baa Lamb
|
|
|
Crook |
Babbling Brook
|
|
|
Truth |
Babe Ruth
|
| Ain't that the Babe |
|
|
Freezer |
Bacardi Breezer
Alternatives
|
| I'll just stick it in the Bacardi. |
|
|
Geezer |
Bacardi Breezer
Alternatives
|
| Awight me old Bacardi |
|
|
Legs |
Bacon and Eggs
|
|
|
Flaps |
Bacon Baps
|
|
|
Nonce (i.e pervert, paeodophile) |
Bacon Bonce
|
| That geezer's a right nonce |
|
|
Mind |
Bacon Rind
Alternatives
|
| You off yer bacon ?! |
|
|
Blind |
Bacon Rind
Alternatives
|
| Is the ref Bacon Rind or what? |
|
|
Wife |
Bag for Life
|
| I took me Bag for Life to the Dolly Mixtures. |
|
|
Suit |
Bag of Fruit
|
|
|
Grand (£1000) |
Bag of Sand
|
|
|
Priest |
Bag of Yeast
Alternatives
|
|
|
Beast |
Bag of Yeast
Alternatives
|
|
|
Queen |
Baked Bean
|
|
|
Jeans |
Baked Beans
|
|
|
See you later |
Baked Potata
|
|
|
See you Later |
Baked Potato
|
|
|
Raw |
Bale of Straw
|
|
|
Walk |
Ball of Chalk
|
|
|
Chancer |
Ballet Dancer
|
| Cor he ain't half a Ballet Dancer |
|
|
Saloon Bar |
Balloon Car
|
|
|
Boots |
Bamboo Shoots
|
| As any one seen my Bamboo's? |
|
|
To have a situation or a drama |
Bananarama
|
| I'm having a right Bananarama today. |
|
|
Pox |
Band in the Box
|
|
|
Soap |
Band of Hope
|
|
|
Slash (urinate) |
Bangers and Mash
Alternatives
|
|
|
Trash |
Bangers and Mash
Alternatives
|
| Go and clear out the Bangers and Mash. |
|
|
Cash |
Bangers and Mash
Alternatives
|
|
|
|
|
Pope |
Bar o' Soap
|
| The Bar o'Soap's lookin' a bit Jack & Jill, innee? |
|
|
Charmer |
Barack Obama
Alternatives
|
| I tell you mate, he's a right Barack. |
|
|
Farmer |
Barack Obama
Alternatives
|
| Bunch of Baracks taking to the streets again! |
|
|
Pyjamas |
Barack Obama
Alternatives
|
| Go put your Barackas, eh? |
|
|
Tired |
Barb Wired
|
| I'm going to bed,I'm barb wired |
|
|
Judge |
Barnaby Rudge
|
|
|
Hair |
Barnet Fair
|
| Look at your barnet! Council cut it for yer? |
|
|
Darlin' |
Barney Marlin
|
|
|
Double |
Barney Rubble
Alternatives
|
| Playing pool |
|
|
Trouble |
Barney Rubble
Alternatives
|
| Got into a right Barney last night. |
|
|
Frown |
Barry Brown
|
| Stop Barry Brownin' |
|
|
Rough |
Barry Cluff
|
| God I feel Barry |
|
|
Shocker |
Barry Crocker
|
|
|
Big 'un |
Barry McGuigan
Alternatives
|
|
|
Biggun |
Barry McGuigan
Alternatives
|
|
|
Biggun |
Barry McGuigan
Alternatives
|
| Don't give it the Barry McQuigan |
|
|
Slash (urinate) |
Barry Nash
|
| I'm going to burst if I don't go for a Barry… |
|
|
Tracks |
Basement Jaxx
|
| I'll be making Basement Jaxx now |
|
|
Thrush |
Basil Brush
|
| I've got a bad case of Basil. |
|
|
Balti |
Basil Fawlty
|
|
|
Baby |
Basin of Gravy
|
|
|
Tall |
Bat and ball
|
| That lad is a bit Bat and Ball |
|
|
Ticket |
Bat and Wicket
|
|
|
Son |
Bath Bun
|
|
|
Pub |
Bath Tub
|
| Jus goin dahn the Bath for a couple o' Pigs'. |
|
|
Boozer (pub) |
Battle Cruiser
|
| Let's go dahn the battle cruiser |
|
|
Stew |
Battle of Waterloo
|
|
|
Trowel |
Baydon Powell
|
| Put some Donald on me Baydon. |
|
|
Bar (pub) |
Bazaar
|
|
|
Totty |
Beam me up Scotty
|
|
|
|
|
Post |
Beans on Toast
Alternatives
|
| My penalty hit the beans |
|
|
Post |
Beans on Toast
Alternatives
|
| Hit it off the Beans on Toast |
|
|
Saw |
Bear's Paw
|
|
|
Nosh (food) |
Becks & Posh
|
| I'm right Lee Marvin, think I'll nip out for some Becks & Posh |
|
|
Money (Dosh) |
Becks and Posh
|
| I can't tonight, I've got no Beck's. |
|
|
26 |
Bed and Breakfast
|
|
|
Drive |
Bee Hive
|
| Last night she bee'd through the pleasure and pain. |
|
|
Bill (statement) |
Beecham's Pill
Alternatives
|
|
|
Still (photograph) |
Beecham's Pill
Alternatives
|
|
|
Money |
Bees and Honey
Alternatives
|
|
|
Money |
Bees and honey
Alternatives
|
| Give me the bees. |
|
|
Tax |
Bees Wax
|
| I've paid a lot of Bees Wax this week. |
|
|
On the labour (Labour Exchange) |
Beggar My Neighbour
|
|
|
Bent |
Behind With the Rent
|
| He's definately Behind with the Rent. |
|
|
Chuckle |
Belt buckle
|
| You're 'avin a belt buckle! |
|
|
Hangover |
Ben Dover
|
| I've Got Such A Bad Ben Dover. |
|
|
Cheese |
Bended Knees
|
|
|
Chancer (someone not qualified) |
Bengal Lancer
|
|
|
Pills |
Benny Hills
|
| I'm gonna get Benny'd up. |
|
|
Banger |
Bernard Langher
|
| Lovely plate of Bernard Langhers |
|
|
Queue |
Bernard Matthew
|
|
|
Skint (broke) |
Bernie Flint
|
|
|
Printer |
Bernie Winter
|
|
|
Jeans |
Bethnal Greens
|
| Nice pair of Bethnals. |
|
|
Poo |
Betty Boo
|
| Where's the lav, I need a Betty! |
|
|
Table |
Betty Grable
|
| Excuse me, I'd like to book a Betty Grable |
|
|
Teeth |
Bexley Heath
|
| Look at the Bexley's on that |
|
|
Face |
Bib and Brace
|
| Shut your Bib and Brace. |
|
|
Ten |
Big Ben
|
|
|
Slippers |
Big Dippers
|
|
|
|
|
Ten |
Bill and Ben
Alternatives
|
|
|
Pen |
Bill and Ben
Alternatives
|
| Where's my Bill and Ben. |
|
|
Tenner (£10) |
Bill and Benner
|
| You got that Bill and Benner you owe me? |
|
|
Curry |
Bill Murray
|
|
|
Voddie (Vodka) |
Bill Oddie
|
|
|
Coffee |
Bill Roffie
|
| Fancy a bill roffie mate? |
|
|
Windscreen Wiper |
Billie Piper
Alternatives
|
| Some slag snapped off me Billies |
|
|
Punter |
Billy Bunter
|
| Get your finger out there's a queue of Billy Bunters. |
|
|
Coat |
Billy Goat
Alternatives
|
| Where's my Billy Goat! |
|
|
Coat |
Billy Goat
Alternatives
|
| put yer billy on its freezing outside |
|
|
Coat |
Billy Goat
Alternatives
|
| Some one's Half Inched my Billy Goat! |
|
|
Throat |
Billy Goat
Alternatives
|
|
|
Dole |
Billy Joel
|
| That guy's on the Billy Joel |
|
|
Virus |
Billy Ray Cyrus
|
| He caught the big Billy Ray. |
|
|
Garden |
Bin Laden
|
| I'm gonna spend the afternoon in the old Bin Laden |
|
|
Kids |
Bin Lids
|
|
|
Laugh |
Bird Bath
|
| You're 'aving a bird bath mate |
|
|
Time |
Bird Lime
|
| Me old man's inside, doin' time. |
|
|
Chest |
Bird's Nest
|
|
|
Bookie |
Biscuit and Cookie
Alternatives
|
|
|
Rookie |
Biscuit and Cookie
Alternatives
|
|
|
Knees |
Biscuits and Cheese
|
|
|
Wash |
Bish Bash Bosh
|
| I've got to go and have a Bish Bash Bosh! |
|
|
Shower |
Blackpool Tower
|
| I'm going for a Blackpool. |
|
|
Insane |
Blaine
|
| Jeez mate - that's a bit David innit? |
|
|
Head |
Blood Red
|
|
|
Hairy |
Bloody Mary
|
| God she's Bloody Mary |
|
|
Heater |
Blue Peter
|
| Turn on the Blue Peter. |
|
|
Sleep |
Bo Peep
|
|
|
Face |
Boat Race
|
| Shut yer bloomin' boat! |
|
|
|
|
1 Shilling (5 pence) |
Bob
|
|
|
Liar |
Bob Cryer
|
|
|
Dope |
Bob Hope
|
|
|
Charlie (cocaine) |
Bob Marley
|
| Any Bob Marly around? |
|
|
Hurry |
Bob Murray
|
| Come on I'm in a Bob Murray |
|
|
Wash |
Bob Squash
|
|
|
Wet |
Boba Fett
|
|
|
Rotten |
Bobbins and Cotton
|
| These apples are Bobbins. |
|
|
Laugh |
Bobble Hat and Scarf
|
| Bobble Hat and Scarf, ur having a laugh. |
|
|
Town |
Bobby Brown
|
|
|
Villain |
Bobby Dylan
|
| Right little Bobby Dylan |
|
|
Sure |
Bobby Moore
Alternatives
|
|
|
Score |
Bobby Moore
Alternatives
|
|
|
Score (£20) |
Bobby Moore
Alternatives
|
| 'it cost me a bobby moore' |
|
|
Oil |
Bodie and Doyle
|
| Can you pass me the Bodie and Doyle |
|
|
Spouse |
Boiler House
|
|
|
Hair |
Bonney Fair
|
|
|
Snide (fake) |
Bonnie and Clyde
Alternatives
|
| That a Bonnie Ralph Loren or a real one? |
|
|
Slide |
Bonnie and Clyde
Alternatives
|
| Mum, can I go to the Bonnie? |
|
|
Prison |
Boom and Mizzen
|
|
|
Sleep |
Bo-Peep
|
|
|
Skint (broke) |
Boracic Lint
|
| Can't come out tonight, I'm boracic! |
|
|
Cold |
Boris The Bold
|
|
|
Bed |
Born and Bred
|
|
|
Bog (toilet) |
Boss Hogg
|
| Going to the Boss for an Eartha. |
|
|
Run Away |
Botany Bay
|
|
|
Copper (policeman) |
Bottle and Stopper
Alternatives
|
|
|
Copper (policeman) |
Bottle and Stopper
Alternatives
|
|
|
Bowler |
Bottle of Cola
|
|
|
2 |
Bottle of Glue
|
|
|
|
|
Shop |
Bottle of Pop
|
| Wat u gettin from the Bottle. |
|
|
Daughter |
Bottle of Porter
|
|
|
Bum |
Bottle of Rum
|
| Nice Bottle Of Rum. |
|
|
Horse |
Bottle of Sauce
|
|
|
Watch |
Bottle of Scotch
|
|
|
Charlie (cocaine) |
Boutrous Boutrous Gali
|
|
|
Para (paranoid) |
Bow and Arra
|
| You look bow and arra |
|
|
Barrow |
Bow and Arrow
Alternatives
|
|
|
Sparrow |
Bow and Arrow
Alternatives
|
|
|
Walk |
Bowl of chalk
|
|
|
Suit |
Bowl of Fruit
|
|
|
Farahs (trousers) |
Bows and Arrows
|
| Put on me bows and arrers |
|
|
Noise |
Box of Toys
|
|
|
Fit |
Brad Pitt
Alternatives
|
| Cor, shes Brad Pitt. |
|
|
Lunch |
Brady Bunch
|
| Going down to the Nuclear for Bradys... coming? |
|
|
Choker |
Bram Stoker
|
| What a Bram Stoker. |
|
|
Sneeze |
Bread and Cheese
|
|
|
Money |
Bread and Honey
|
|
|
Wife |
Bread Knife
|
|
|
Face (Brendan Grace was an Irish comedian) |
Brendan Grace
|
| Don't forget to wash your Brendan Grace |
|
|
Puff |
Brian Clough
Alternatives
|
| Got any Brian on ya. |
|
|
Rough |
Brian Clough
Alternatives
|
|
|
Rough |
Brian Clough
Alternatives
|
| That bird is a bit Brian Clough |
|
|
Daughter |
Bricks and Mortar
|
|
|
Living room |
Bride and Groom
|
|
|
Tongue |
Brigham Young
|
|
|
Easy |
Bright and Breezy
|
|
|
Gear (cocaine) |
Brighton Pier
Alternatives
|
| Get us a dolls pram of Brighton Pier |
|
|
Darlin' |
Briney Marlin
|
|
|
Ears |
Britney Spears
Alternatives
|
| What's wrong wiv yer Britney's luv |
|
|
|
|
Beers |
Britney Spears
Alternatives
|
| Let's go fer a few Britneys |
|
|
Tears |
Britney Spears
Alternatives
|
| Dry away those Britney Spears |
|
|
Diet |
Brixton Riot
|
| No chocolate for me - spoils me Brixton. |
|
|
Toes |
Bromley By Bow's
|
|
|
Dead |
Brown Bread
|
|
|
Key |
Bruce Lee
Alternatives
|
| Where's me Bruce Lee's? |
|
|
Pee |
Bruce Lee
Alternatives
|
|
|
Tea |
Bruce Lee
Alternatives
|
| Anyone fancy a Bruce. |
|
|
Shout |
Brussel Sprout
Alternatives
|
|
|
Nowt |
Brussel Sprout
Alternatives
|
| He getting Brussels Sprout, I'm Borassic |
|
|
Doubt |
Brussels Sprout
Alternatives
|
| Without a Brussels Sprout mate. |
|
|
Tout |
Brussels Sprout
Alternatives
|
| I bought my ticket off a Brussels |
|
|
Scouts |
Brussels Sprouts
|
|
|
Week |
Bubble and Squeak
Alternatives
|
|
|
Beak (magistrate) |
Bubble and Squeak
Alternatives
|
|
|
Greek |
Bubble and Squeak
Alternatives
|
|
|
Greek |
Bubble and Squeak
Alternatives
|
|
|
Laugh |
Bubble Bath
Alternatives
|
| He's 'avin' a bubble |
|
|
Laugh |
Bubble Bath
Alternatives
|
|
|
Chum |
bubble gum
|
| How you doin' Bubble Gum |
|
|
Jail |
Bucket and Pail
|
|
|
AIDS |
Buckets and Spades
|
|
|
Nose |
Bugle
|
|
|
Money |
Bugs Bunny
|
|
|
Row (argument) |
Bull and Cow
|
|
|
Pawn (in-pawn) |
Bullock's Horn
|
|
|
Fifty pounds |
Bullseye
|
|
|
E (Ecstacy) |
Bumble Bee
|
|
|
Tears |
Bunny Ears
|
|
|
Money (Nice little earner) abbreviated from Bunsen Burner |
Bunse
|
| How much money did we make last month Del? Loads o' Bunse Rodders, loads o' Bunse! |
|
|
|
|
Earner |
Bunsen Burner
|
| Nice little Bunsen Burner |
|
|
Window |
Burnt Cinder
|
|
|
Journey |
Burt and Ernie
|
|
|
Rent |
Burton-On-Trent
|
| I'm so boracic I can't even pay me Burton |
|
|
Cheque |
Bushel and Peck
|
| Goin' down the J Arfer to sausage a bushel (Going down the bank to cash a cheque) |
|
|
Lark (fun) |
Bushey Park
|
|
|
Meeting |
Buster Keaton
|
|
|
Look |
Butcher's Hook
|
|