Blackpool Rock!

English to Cockney letter P

If you see a hyperlink, click to get alternative slang or alternative translations.

Paddy	Tea Caddy

Paedophile (from the TV series South Park)	Cousin Kyle

Pager	John Major Alternatives

Pain	Michael Caine

Pain	Frasier Crane
He's a right Frasier

Pants	Insects and Ants

Pants	Adam and the Ants Alternatives

Pants	Adam's

Pants	Pirates Of Penzance

Paper (newspaper)	Linen Draper

Para (paranoid)	Bow and Arra
You look bow and arra

Pardon	Osama bin Laden Alternatives
Beg your Osama

Park	Plimsoll Mark

Park	Light and Dark

Park	Noah's Ark Alternatives

Parka (jacket)	Neil Sedaka

Parky (cold)	David Starkey
It's a bit David oot mate!

Party	Hale and hearty
Come to my hale and hearty

Party	Moriarty

Party	Russell Harty

Party	Todd Carty
We're 'avin a bit of a Todd Carty (Todd Carty plays Mark Fowler in Eastenders)

Pawn (in-pawn)	Bullock's Horn

PC Plod (policeman)	Fishing Rod
Watch out theres a Fishin' Rod over there.

Peas	On Your Knees

Peck (of food)	Tooting Bec
I'm feeling a bit Tooting Beckish

Pee	Ken Smee

Pee	C'est La Vie
Oi garcon, je require un C'est La Vie.

Pee	Bruce Lee Alternatives

Pee	Ali G
I need an Ali G

Peelers (police)	Pittsburgh Steelers


Pen	Layin Hen

Pen	Bill and Ben Alternatives
Where's my Bill and Ben.

Penalty Fare	Cherie Blair
I jumped of the tube and got Cheried

Penny	Abergavenny

Penny	Kilkenny

Pension	Shawshank Redemption

Perv (look at girls)	Dodge And Swerve
Going down to the Nuclear Sub for a bit of a Dodge?

Phat	Roland Rat
That is well Roland Rat

Philharmonic	Tonic

Phone	Trombone

Phone	Sharone Stone
No worries china give us buzz on the Sharon.

Phone	Strawberry Rhone

Phone	Joey Ramone

Phone	Molly Malone

Phone	Nina Simone
Stop rabbitting on the Nina and put the Frank Skinner on woman

Phone	Dog and Bone

Phone	Herring Bone

Phone	Jelly Bone
Aw me Jelly's vibrating

Pianner (piano)	Joanna

Pickles	Harvey Nichols

Pictures	Dolly Mixtures

Pictures	Fleas and Itches
I'm off to the Fleas and Itches.

Piddle (urinate)	Jimmy Riddle Alternatives

Piddle (urinate)	Jimmy Riddle Alternatives

Piddle (urinate)	Lauren Riddle
Jus goin for a Lauren Riddle

Piddle (urinate)	Malcolm in the Middle
I'm going for a Malcolm, mate...

Pie	Isle of Skye
I'd like some Isle of Skye.

Piece (lunch)	Merlyn Rees

Pikey	How d'ya Likey

Pikey	Do As You Likey


Pikey	As You Likey

Pill	Jack and Jill Alternatives
Me girlfriend's on the Jack and Jill at last

Pill	Jimmy Hill Alternatives

Pill	Harry Hill
Are you on the Harry Hill darling?

Pillow	Weeping Willow

Pills	Benny Hills
I'm gonna get Benny'd up.

Pin	Huckleberry Finn
There are ten Huckleberry Finns per frame.

Pinch (steal)	Half Inch

Pinch (steal)	Half-Inch
Someone's 'alf-inched me wallet!

Pint of Ale	Ship Full Sail
Let's have a Ship.

Pint of Stella	Nelson
Nelson Mandela

Pint of Stella	Uri Gella
Get us a pint of Uri.

Pipe	Cherry Ripe

Pirate	Millwal In Riot
These DVD's are all Millwall In Riot

Pistol	Lady From Bristol

Pistol	Lady of Bristol

Pitch (stall or stand)	Hedge and Ditch

Pizza	Omar Riza
Give us a slice of that Omar

Plan	Manfred Mann

Plan	Jackie Chan Alternatives
I've a Jackie

Plants	Adam and the Ants Alternatives
I've just Son and Daughter'd me Adam and the Ants.

Plants	Uncles and Aunts
Just had to dirty daughter me uncles and aunts

Please	Hairy Knees

Pleb	Alexander Hleb
"I'm sorry. I made a complete Alexander Hleb of myself last night"

Plonker	Willy Wonka

Pocket	Davey Crocket
Take ya hands out ya Davey!

Pocket	Davy Crockett

Pocket	Sky Rocket

Pocket	Lucy Locket

Pole (as in Polish citizen). Used (allegedly) during WW2.	Jam Roll Alternatives
He's a Jam Role!


Pole (Polish person)	Swiss Roll

Pom (Englishman)	to and from

Ponce	Charlie Ronce

Ponce	Alphonse

Pony (£25)	Macaroni

Poo	Betty Boo
Where's the lav, I need a Betty!

Poo	Efan Ekuku

Poo	Four by Two Alternatives
I'm busting for a Four by Two

Poofter	Wooly Woofter
Look at him he's a bit of a Wooly Woofter

Pools (the pools)	April Fools Alternatives

Poor	On the Floor

Poorly	Sue Lawley
I'm feeling a bit Sue Lawley

Pope	Bar o' Soap
The Bar o'Soap's lookin' a bit Jack & Jill, innee?

Pork	Dwight Yorke

Porker	Native New Yorker
Cos, 'e's a bit of an Native New Yorker innee

Porn	Johhny Vaughan

Porn	Franky Vaughan
Watching a Franky Vaughan tonight?

Porn	Goldie Hawn
Just havin' a flick thru me Goldie.

Portuguese	Pork And Cheese
He's Pork And Cheese - he's Portuguese

Post	Sunday Roast

Post	Beans on Toast Alternatives
My penalty hit the beans

Post	Beans on Toast Alternatives
Hit it off the Beans on Toast

Poster	Roller Coaster Alternatives

Pound (currency)	Quid

Pound (currency)	Plymouth Sound

Pound (currency)	Sov

Powder (cocaine)	Nicky Lauder
Can you get me a gram of Nicky?

Pox	Nervo and Knox Alternatives

Pox	Surrey Docks

Pox	Surries (Surrey Docks)
Stay away she's got the Surries


Pox	Band in the Box

Prat	Paper Hat

Prayer	Weaver's Chair
You 'aven't got a weavers!

Preggers (pregnant)	Keith Cheggers
Are you Keith Cheggers?

Preggers/pregnant	Keith Cheggars
Is she Keith Cheggars or just a bit on the old fat side?

Price	Anekka Rice
Paid a right good Anakke Rice for this motor.

Price	Condoleezza Rice
Check the Condoleezza Rice on that item

Priest	Bag of Yeast Alternatives

Priest	Far East

Priest	Dirty Beast

Printer	Alan Minter Alternatives
Looks like the paper has got jammed in the Alan again !

Printer	Bernie Winter

Prison	Boom and Mizzen

Pruno (prison liquor)	San Bruno
That bloke is brewing San Bruno in his cell!

Pub	Rub-A-Dub
Fancy the rubber?

Pub	Nuclear Sub

Pub	Bath Tub
Jus goin dahn the Bath for a couple o' Pigs'.

Pub	Wormwood Scrubs
Comin down the Wormwood Scrubs?

Pube (pubic hair)	Rubic's Cube Alternatives

Puff	Brian Clough Alternatives
Got any Brian on ya.

Puff (breath, life)	Nelly Duff
Not on your Nelly!

Punter	Billy Bunter
Get your finger out there's a queue of Billy Bunters.

Punters	Hillman Hunters

Pyjamas	Barack Obama Alternatives
Go put your Barackas, eh?

Pyjamas	Simon Schamas
Me grandad's only gone down the quack's in his Simons