|
Cab |
Flounder & Dab
|
| Grab a swift Flounder accross town. |
|
|
Cab |
Smash and Grab
Alternatives
|
| I'm off down the pub, I'll get a smash home |
|
|
Cab |
Smash and grab
Alternatives
|
| Come out the station and waited for a smash |
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Cab (taxi) |
Sherbet Dab
|
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Cab (taxi) |
Andy McNab
Alternatives
|
| I'm goin gettig an Andy McNab home |
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Cab (taxi) |
Left Jab
|
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Cadge |
Coat and Badge
|
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Cafe |
Colonel Gadaffi
|
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Cake |
Joe Blake
Alternatives
|
| Want some Joe Blake mate? |
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Cake |
Sexton Blake
Alternatives
|
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Can (of beer) |
Jackie Chan
Alternatives
|
| You want to come around to my gaf for a few Jackies tonight? |
|
|
Cancel |
Nigel Mansell
|
| Got to Nigel Mansell my subscription |
|
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Cancer |
Sunny Dancer
|
| Wot's wrong with him? 'Es got sunny dancer innee? |
|
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Candle |
Harry Randall
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Cans (headphones) |
Desperate Dans
|
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Cappucino |
Al Pacino
|
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Car |
Andrew Marr
|
| I'll have a look in the Andrew Maerr |
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Car |
Danny Marr
|
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Car |
Jam Jar
|
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Car |
Kareem Abdul Jabbar
|
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Car |
La-Di-Dah
|
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Car |
Near and Far
Alternatives
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Car |
YoYo Ma
|
| Have a butcher's at me new yoyo ! |
|
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Car keys |
Fergal Sharkeys
|
| Can't find my Fergals anywhere! |
|
|
Carling |
Alistair Darling
|
| You're having a pint of Yuri Gellar and I'll have an Alistair |
|
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Carling |
Roger Starling
|
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Cash |
Oscar Asche
|
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Cash |
Pie And Mash
Alternatives
|
| You got any Pie on ya? |
|
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Cash |
Jumpin' Jack Flash
|
| I've got plenty of Jumpin' Jack Flash in me Sky Rocket. |
|
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Cash |
Arthur Ashe
|
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Cash |
Bangers and Mash
Alternatives
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Cash |
Crosby, Stills and Nash
|
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Cash |
Dot and Dash
|
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Cash |
Sausage and Mash
Alternatives
|
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Cat |
This and That
|
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Cat |
Cooking Fat
|
| Don't tease the cooking fat ! |
|
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Cat |
Postman Pat
Alternatives
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Catch ya later |
Kat Slater
Alternatives
|
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Cell (prison) |
Flowery Dell
|
|
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Central Heating |
Ronan Keating
Alternatives
|
| Oia love, can you flick the Ronan on? I'm freezing my Jacksons off here! |
|
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Chair |
Tony Blair
Alternatives
|
| Sit On Your Tony |
|
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Chair |
Fred Astaire
Alternatives
|
| Chuck us over a Fred Astaire |
|
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Chair |
Lion's Lair
|
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Chairs |
Owen Nares
|
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Chalk |
Duke of York
Alternatives
|
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Chancer |
Ballet Dancer
|
| Cor he ain't half a Ballet Dancer |
|
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Chancer (someone not qualified) |
Bengal Lancer
|
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Change |
Rifle Range
|
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Chapel |
Pineapple
|
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Charlie ( Coke ) |
Lemon Barley
|
| I'm clukin for a line of the ol' Lemon. |
|
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Charlie (cocaine) |
Oats and Barley
|
| On the oats. |
|
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Charlie (Cocaine) |
Saladore Dali
|
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Charlie (cocaine) |
Salvador Dali
|
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Charlie (Cocaine) |
Andy Farley
|
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Charlie (cocaine) |
Bob Marley
|
| Any Bob Marly around? |
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Charlie (cocaine) |
Boutrous Boutrous Gali
|
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Charlie (cocaine) |
Gianluca Vialli
|
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Charlie (coke) |
Oats's And Barley
|
| Let's have a toot of ya Oats |
|
|
Charmer |
Jeffrey Dahmer
|
| He's quite a Jeffrey, your boyfriend |
|
|
Charmer |
Barack Obama
Alternatives
|
| I tell you mate, he's a right Barack. |
|
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Chat |
Chew the fat
|
|
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Chat |
Frank and Pat
|
| It was nice having this Frank and Pat |
|
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Chat |
Natter
|
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Chat |
Top Hat
|
|
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Cheap |
Meryl streep
|
| That car is well Meryl Streep |
|
|
Cheating |
Angus Deaton
|
| He's been Angus Deaton on his wife. |
|
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Cheek |
Once A Week
|
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Cheese |
John Cleese
|
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Cheese |
Bended Knees
|
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Cheese |
Stand At Ease
|
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Cheque |
Ant and Dec
|
| I'll get the Ant n Dec in the post tonight mate |
|
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Cheque |
Bushel and Peck
|
| Goin' down the J Arfer to sausage a bushel (Going down the bank to cash a cheque) |
|
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Cheque |
Goose's Neck
|
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Cheque |
Gregory Peck
Alternatives
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Cheque |
Nervous Wreck
|
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Chest |
Pants and Vest
|
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Chest |
George Best
|
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Chest |
Bird's Nest
|
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Child |
Wet and Wild
|
| She's popped a wet and wild. |
|
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Child (kid) |
God Forbid
|
|
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Child Molester |
Charlie Chester
|
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Child Molester |
Uncle Fester
|
| Keep away he's a Fester! |
|
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Chilly |
Uncle Billy
|
|
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Chin |
Vera Lynn
Alternatives
|
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Chin |
Errol Flynn
|
| Land one on his Errol. |
|
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Chin |
Harry Lin
|
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Chips |
Jockey's Whips
|
|
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Chips |
Jockies' Whips
|
| Let's get a bag of jockies |
|
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Choice |
Rolls-Royce
|
| Its your Rolls |
|
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Choker |
Bram Stoker
|
| What a Bram Stoker. |
|
|
|
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Chuckle |
Belt buckle
|
| You're 'avin a belt buckle! |
|
|
Chum |
bubble gum
|
| How you doin' Bubble Gum |
|
|
Chum |
Fruit (Gum)
|
| Alright me old Fruit? |
|
|
Chunder (Be sick) |
Stevie Wonder
|
| I can feel a Stevie coming on. |
|
|
Church |
Left in the Lurch
|
|
|
Cider |
Knight Rider
|
| Grab a bottle of Knight Rider too. |
|
|
Cider |
Easy Rider
|
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|
Cider |
Deep Sea Glider
|
|
|
Cider |
Sean Ryder
|
| I'll 'ave a pint of Sean Ryder |
|
|
Cider |
Winona Ryder
|
|
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Cigar |
La-Di-Da
|
|
|
Cigar |
Lah-di-dah
Alternatives
|
| Two pints of bitter and a Lahdi please. |
|
|
Cigar |
Lar-Dee-Dar
|
|
|
Civilian |
Sampa Brazilian
|
| Hey. No sweat, I`m only a Sampa, mate. |
|
|
Clanger (mistake) |
Coat Hanger
|
|
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Clink (jail) |
Kitchen Sink
Alternatives
|
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Clock |
Tick-Tock
|
|
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Clown |
Gordon Brown
|
| Can be used against any jokers, e.g My manager is a bit of a 'Gordon' |
|
|
Clucking - When you are craving more heroin |
Donald Duck(ing)
|
| Ee's got the Donalds really bad. |
|
|
Clue |
Danny La Rue
|
| You ain't got a Danny La Rue mate |
|
|
Clue |
Didgeridoo
|
| Sorry mate, haven't got a Didgeridoo. |
|
|
Clue |
Pot of Glue
|
|
|
Clue |
Tube of Glue
|
| I ain't gotta Tube a Glue |
|
|
Clue |
Scooby Doo
Alternatives
|
| 'aven't got the foggiest Scooby Doo matey |
|
|
Clue |
Scooby Doo
Alternatives
|
| You haven't got a Scooby Doo |
|
|
Clutch |
Starsky and Hutch
|
|
|
Clutch |
Rabbit Hutch
|
| I wouldn't buy that Jam Jar mate, the Rabbit's shot. |
|
|
Coat |
Nanny Goat
Alternatives
|
|
|
Coat |
Billy Goat
Alternatives
|
| Where's my Billy Goat! |
|
|
Coat |
Billy Goat
Alternatives
|
| put yer billy on its freezing outside |
|
|
|
|
Coat |
Billy Goat
Alternatives
|
| Some one's Half Inched my Billy Goat! |
|
|
Coat |
Weasel and Stoat
|
| Cor it's taters, I must get me weasel! |
|
|
Code |
A la Mode
|
| We've got to talk a la mode round by the dustbins. |
|
|
Coffee |
Bill Roffie
|
| Fancy a bill roffie mate? |
|
|
Coffee |
Everton Toffee
|
| Let's have an Everton |
|
|
Coffee |
Molten Toffee
|
| Fancy a nice cuppa Molten. |
|
|
Coffee |
Sticky Toffee
|
|
|
Cold |
Stevey Bould
|
|
|
Cold |
Taters in the Mould
Alternatives
|
|
|
Cold |
Taters in the Mould
Alternatives
|
|
|
Cold |
Potatoes in the Mould
|
| Blimey it's taters! |
|
|
Cold |
Boris The Bold
|
|
|
Cold |
Cheltenham Bold
|
|
|
Cold (derived from Potatoes in the Mould) |
Spuds
|
| It's spuds tonight! |
|
|
Collar |
Holler Boys Holler
|
|
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Come |
Rattle and Hum
|
|
|
Computer |
Pistol and Shooter
|
|
|
Cook |
Rubber Duck
Alternatives
|
|
|
Cop |
Pork Chop
|
| Lets run from the Pork Chop. |
|
|
Cop (policeman) |
John Hop
|
|
|
Copper |
Space Hopper
|
| There goes a Space Hopper. |
|
|
Copper (policeman) |
Bottle and Stopper
Alternatives
|
|
|
Copper (policeman) |
Bottle and Stopper
Alternatives
|
|
|
Coppers (police) |
Joe Hoppers
|
| The Joe Hoppers did a dawn raid. |
|
|
Cops |
Cozzer's
|
|
|
Cork |
Duke of York
Alternatives
|
|
|
Corner |
Johnny Horner
|
|
|
Corner |
Little Jack Horner
|
| Just around the Little Jack Horner! |
|
|
Couch |
Kangaroo Pouch
|
| Help me move my kangaroo. |
|
|
Cough |
Darren Gough
|
|
|
|
|
Cough |
Vincent van Gogh
Alternatives
|
|
|
Couldn't give a Kate Moss mate |
Kate Moss
Alternatives
|
|
|
Cow |
Chairman Mao
|
| Look at the udders on that Chairman! |
|
|
Crabs |
Andy McNabs
|
| Don't take 'er 'ome - you'll get a right case of the Andy's |
|
|
Crabs |
Dibs and Dabs
|
| Last time I go wiv 'er, the filthy cow 'ad a touch of the Dibs and Dabs. |
|
|
Crabs |
Jim Bob Babs
|
| Bleeding Nora, I just caught a case of Jim Bobs! |
|
|
Crabs |
Sandy McNabs
|
| I've got the old Sandy McNabs |
|
|
Crash |
Pie and Mash
Alternatives
|
| Just had a pie and mash in me car |
|
|
Crash |
Sausage and Mash
Alternatives
|
|
|
Crazy |
Patrick Swayze
Alternatives
|
| Your Patrick Swayze mate! |
|
|
Crazy |
Chicken Jalfrezi
|
| He's Chicken Jalfrezi. |
|
|
Crime |
Lemon Lime
|
|
|
Crime |
Lemon and Lime
|
|
|
Cripple |
Raspberry Ripple
Alternatives
|
|
|
Crook |
Joe Rook
|
|
|
Crook |
Babbling Brook
|
|
|
Crust |
You Must
|
|
|
Crutch |
Double Dutch
|
|
|
Cry |
Pipe Your Eye
|
|
|
Cup o' Tea |
Jack Dee
|
| Jack Dee - 1 sugar, cheers, mate! |
|
|
Cup of tea |
Jay-Z
|
| Make me a Jay-Z |
|
|
Cupboard |
Mother Hubbard
|
|
|
Cupboard |
Old Mother Hubbard
|
|
|
Curry |
Fred McMurray
|
| Going for a Fred |
|
|
Curry |
Bill Murray
|
|
|
Curry |
Ruby Murray
|
|
|
Curtains |
Richard Burtons
|
|
|
Cycle |
George Michael
Alternatives
|
| I'm George Michaeling to work today |
|