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Baboon |
Geoff Hoon
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| You're a right Geoff Hoon you are |
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Baby |
Basin of Gravy
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Back |
Cadbury's Snack
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Back |
Cilla Black
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| Gawd, me Cilla's playing up again! |
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Back |
Fleetwood Mac
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Back |
Hammer and Tack
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Back |
Hay Stack
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Back |
Jumping Jack
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Back |
Roof Rack
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Back |
Union Jack
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Bad |
Shepherd's Plaid
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Bad |
Sorry and Sad
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Bad |
Alan Ladd
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| It's well Alan |
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Badger |
Dennis and Gnasher
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| Oh fiddlesticks! I just ran over a dennis!! |
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Ball |
Albert Hall
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| I got kicked in the Albert Halls |
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Balti |
Basil Fawlty
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Banana |
Gertie Gitana
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Banger |
Bernard Langher
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| Lovely plate of Bernard Langhers |
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Bank |
Cab Rank
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Bank |
Fish tank
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Bank |
Iron Tank
Alternatives
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Bank |
J. Arthur Rank
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| Gawn down the J.Arthur to get a Monkey. |
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Bank |
Pedal and Crank
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| I'm going to the Pedal & Crank |
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Bank |
Tin Tank
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Bank |
Tommy Tank
Alternatives
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Bar |
Ringo Starr
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| Lets go for a few Britneys in the Ringo. |
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Bar (pub) |
Near and Far
Alternatives
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Bar (pub) |
Jack Tar
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Bar (pub) |
Bazaar
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Barmy |
Dad's Army
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Barmy |
Monty's Army
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| I'm Monty's Army over that Twist and Twirl. |
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Barmy |
Salvation Army
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| Gawd you gotta be Salvation Army. |
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Barnet (hair) |
Alf Garnet
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| Been in the barbers to get something done about me Alf Garnet |
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Barrow |
Bow and Arrow
Alternatives
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Bath |
Laugh
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Battery |
Charm and Flattery
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| Yer charm's gone flat, mate! |
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Battery |
Tony Slattery
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Beak (magistrate) |
Bubble and Squeak
Alternatives
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Beard |
Strange and Weird
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Beast |
Bag of Yeast
Alternatives
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Beating |
Unscheduled Meeting
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| Shut up or there would be an unscheduled meeting |
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Beaut (beauty) |
John Deut
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| Wot a John Duet |
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Beauty |
Tutti Frutti
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Beaver |
Sigourney Weaver
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Bed |
Skein of Thread
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Bed |
Scratch Yer Head
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Bed |
Uncle Ned
Alternatives
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Bed |
Uncle Ted
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Bed |
Born and Bred
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Bed |
Fakey Ned
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| I'm off up the apples and pear to Fakey Ned. |
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Beef |
Itchy Teeth
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Beef |
Stop Thief
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Beer |
Richard Gere
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| I'm just going out for a couple of Richards. |
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Beer |
Pig's Ear
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Beers |
Ray Mears
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| I'm going down the pub for a few Ray Mears' |
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Beers |
Britney Spears
Alternatives
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| Let's go fer a few Britneys |
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Beggar |
Ewan McGreggor
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Beggar |
Ham and Egger
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Beginner |
Lilley and Skinner
Alternatives
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Belch |
Raquel Welch
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Believe |
Christmas Eve
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Believe |
Adam and Eve
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| Can you Adam and Eve it? |
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Bell |
Auntie Nell
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| Give us an Auntie Nell tomorra morning. |
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Bell |
Hair Gel
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Belly |
Matthew Kelly
Alternatives
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| "I've got a bit of Shania in me Matthew Kelly" |
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Belly |
New Delhi
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Belly |
Auntie Nellie
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Belly |
Derby Kelly
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Belly |
Darby Kelly
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Bench |
Judy Dench
Alternatives
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| Emile Hesky should stay on the Judy |
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Bent |
Duke of Kent
Alternatives
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| He's a Duke |
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Bent |
Behind With the Rent
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| He's definately Behind with the Rent. |
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Bent |
Clark Kent
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| He's a bit Clarke Kent |
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Bent |
50 Cent
Alternatives
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| No he don't fancy you, he's 50 Cent! |
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Bent (criminal) |
Stoke On Trent
Alternatives
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Bent (from the rapper 50 Cent) |
50 Cent
Alternatives
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| ur a bit 50 |
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Best |
Mae West
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Bet |
Jumbo Jet
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Bet |
House To Let
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Beverage |
Edna Everage
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Bevvy (drink) |
Don Revie
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| Are we going for a couple of Don Revies tonight |
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Bible |
Slander and Libel
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| Slander and Libel, I don't Adam and Eve it! |
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Big 'un |
Barry McGuigan
Alternatives
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Biggun |
Barry McGuigan
Alternatives
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Biggun |
Barry McGuigan
Alternatives
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| Don't give it the Barry McQuigan |
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Bigot |
Lester Piggot
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Bike |
Clever Mike
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Bike. Alibi Ike was a movie star. |
Alibi Ike
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Bill |
Muswell Hill
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| Can I get the Muswell mate. |
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Bill (statement) |
Jimmy Hill
Alternatives
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Bill (statement) |
Jack and Jill
Alternatives
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Bill (statement) |
Beecham's Pill
Alternatives
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Billie Piper |
Hyper
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| You're getting a bit Billie Piper |
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Bint |
Gilly Mint
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| You silly Gilly Mint. |
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Bint |
Polo Mint
Alternatives
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Bird |
Richard the Third
Alternatives
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Bird |
Shaken Not Stirred
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| Have a butchers at that shaken not stirred |
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Bird (Lime) |
Prison Time
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| 'Es gawn down, doin' bird |
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Bitter (beer) |
Gary Glitter
Alternatives
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Bitter (beer) |
Apple Fritter
Alternatives
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| Pint of apple fritter darlin'. |
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Blade |
Shovel and Spade
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| Got a spare Shovel? Gotta 'ave a Dig. |
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Blazer |
Razor
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Blind |
Bacon Rind
Alternatives
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| Is the ref Bacon Rind or what? |
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Bloke |
Heap of Coke
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Blood |
Roy Hudd
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| That'll stop the Toy Hudd for a while |
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Blotto (drunk) |
Santa's Grotto
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Blower (phone) |
Lawn mower
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Blower (telephone) |
Percy Thrower
Alternatives
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| Lend us ya Percy, I need to make a call. |
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Blower (telephone) |
Álvaro Arbeloa
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| Get that freezer on the Arbeloa, we need to talk |
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Boat |
Nanny Goat
Alternatives
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Bob (shilling) |
Touch Me On the Knob
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Bog |
Kermit the Frog
Alternatives
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| In the kermit, on the dog. |
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Bog |
Cat and Dog
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Bog (toilet) |
Boss Hogg
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| Going to the Boss for an Eartha. |
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Bog (toilet) |
Spotty Dog
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| I just need to pop into the Spotty. |
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Boil |
Arthur Conan Doyle
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| Clive, get that kettle on the arfur!' |
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Boil |
Conan Doyle
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Boil |
Can of Oil
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Boil |
Paraffin Oil
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| I've got a Paraffin on me Isa |
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bolt/runawy |
Harry Holt
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| He's done the Harry Holt |
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Bomb |
Derry and Tom
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Bones |
Tom Jones
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Bong |
Ding Dong
Alternatives
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| Give us a puff of the ding dong |
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Boobies |
Red Red Rubies
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| "Hey, Red , Reds!" - when you see a nice pair! |
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Book |
Joe Hook
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Book |
Fish Hook
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Book |
Caption Cook
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Bookie |
Cream Cookie
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Bookie |
Biscuit and Cookie
Alternatives
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Boots |
Bamboo Shoots
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| As any one seen my Bamboo's? |
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Boots |
Daisy Roots
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Booze |
River Ouse
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Booze |
Penelope Cruz
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Booze |
Tom Cruise
Alternatives
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| Got any tom cruise? |
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Booze |
Tom Cruise
Alternatives
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Boozer |
German Cruiser
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| Lets go down the German |
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Boozer |
Cabin Cruiser
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| Went down to the Cabin Cruiser to watch the match. |
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Boozer |
Arethusa
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| Arethusa is an old shop moored on the Thames |
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Boozer (pub) |
All Time Loser
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Boozer (pub) |
Battle Cruiser
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| Let's go dahn the battle cruiser |
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Boozer (pub) |
Perpetual (Loser)
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| Oh gawd 'e's a right perpetual loser |
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Boss |
Pitch and Toss
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Bottle |
Jerry Cottle
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Bottle |
Aristotle
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Bouncing Cheque (Bouncing Gregory Peck) |
Rubber Gregory
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Bowler |
Bottle of Cola
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Box |
Darky Cox
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Boy |
Rob Roy
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Boy |
San Toy
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Bra |
Tung Chee Hwa
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Bra |
Master Mcgrath
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Braces |
Airs and Graces
Alternatives
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Brains |
Down the Drains
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Brake |
Veronica Lake
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| Hit the Veronica, you slag ! |
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Brandy |
Fine and Dandy
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Brandy |
Andy Pandy
Alternatives
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| We drank 4 bottles of Andy Pandy in the bar. |
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Brandy |
Jack the Dandy
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Bread |
Right Said Fred
Alternatives
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| I'll have two slices of Right Said Fred. |
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Bread |
Uncle Fred
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Bread and dripping |
Doctor Crippen
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Breasts |
Georgie Bests
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Breath |
King Death
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Broke (financially bereft) |
Hearts of Oak
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Broke (financially bereft) |
Coals and Coke
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Brokers |
Engineers and Stokers
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Brother |
Manhole Cover
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Brother |
One and t'Other
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Bruise |
Tom cruise
Alternatives
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| Hell of a Tom Cruise you got there. |
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Bucket |
Mrs Duckett
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Bum |
Queen Mum
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Bum |
Kingdom Come
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Bum |
Fife and Drum
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Bum |
Deaf and Dumb
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Bum |
Bottle of Rum
|
| Nice Bottle Of Rum. |
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Bum |
Wrigley's Gum
|
| She deserves a slap on the Wrigley's |
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Bunk (bed) |
Pineapple Chunk
Alternatives
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Burger King |
Itchy Ring
|
| I right fancy an Itchy Ring |
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Burp |
Wyatt Earp
|
| Gawd, Didn't I let this great big Wyatt out |
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Burst (urinate) |
Geoff Hurst
Alternatives
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Bus |
Uncle Gus
|
| Let's catch the Uncle Gus. |
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Bust |
Princes Trust
|
| Look at the Prince's on her |
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