The Cockney Blog

Ride the Mail Rail Under London

After a good deal of tarting up, the underground tracks that used to serve the Royal Mail is now open to the public. The Postal Museum allows interested punters to ride on miniature JOHN WAYNES and explore the one hundred-year-old Post Office railway. Many of the station platforms that you can see have not been changed […]

An old Royal Mail 'mail rail' carriage

London Downpour Ends Heatwave

Well, that didn’t last long, did it! One minute we were basking in the heat of the scorching CURRANT BUN and the next we’re getting out our RED ‘N’ YELLAs because it’s raining CATS AND DOGS. Monday saw the hottest UK bank holiday on record and we’re now sitting at 10 degrees or cooler. There may […]


Big Ben’s Last Bong

Big Ben is a dirty great TICK TOCK that lives near Westminster Bridge. Well, turns out that Big Ben is in a bit of a TWO AND EIGHT, so for the next four years a load of CAPTAIN KIRK, totaling £29m, will be carried out on the Elizabeth Tower to renovate the building and the bell itself. […]

Close up of the clock face on Big Ben's tower

London Night Tube Anniversary

This time last year, the OXO CUBE began it’s mission to transport London’s night owls around the capital. The Night Tube has now seen it’s eight millionth journey. That’s a hell of a lot of BERT AND ERNIES! It’s lovely to see a positive story like this in the news. Not only has it brought in […]

London's Victoria line night tube



Has the Cockney Voice Gone for Good?

Cole Moreton bemoans the loss of the cockney voice in this piece for the Radio Times. And it’s true. With all the comings and goings, like in any big city, its inhabitants will eventually change. Their customs will change, their food will change, their culture will change and of course their language and accents will change.

Market in the East End of London

Cockney Rhyming Grub

Any cockney rhyming slang fans should head over to Cambridge and try the yummy looking desserts at the Bedford Lodge Hotel and Spa. The experimental chef has combined his love of our London slang with his studies in braille to create some deliciously fun puds. Our particular favourite is ‘Apples and Pears’ with ‘Rosie Lee’ […]

Apples and pears; cockney for stairs

Andy Murray’s Trouble and Strife is Cooking a Bin Lid

More tennis news … Andy Murray’s TROUBLE AND STRIFE has got ONE IN THE OVEN and is cooking a BIN LID. Far from distracting the tennis ace from success, it has been said that expecting a new addition can focus the mind even further. Incidentally, Novak Djokovic’s partner is also pregnant and Serena Williams recently […]

Andy Murray practicing tennis

André Agassi’s Barnet was a Syrup

Wimbledon is in full flow again and the weather of course has obliged by being changeable at best. PEAS IN THE POT  one day then raining cats and dogs the next. I came across an old news story the other day; how did I not already know that tennis champ Andre Agassi’s well renowned mullet […]

Agassi in the 80's